TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS:
Relationships in our lives vary from, the person that delivers your mail, family or friends, and romantic relationships. We learn at a young age to develop friendships, how to treat family members, and to coexist and treat others with respect. But it’s not until later in life that we are introduced to another form of relationship, the romantic relationship.
Although some of us are naturals at this type of relationship, it is important to exercise healthy relationship patterns and methods. Most of what we have learned in life about relationships can be applied in a romantic relationship, but there are more methods and healthy habits that will help strengthen the relationship that are important to understand.
Here are 10 methods to help with a happy, healthy, relationship:
TEN WAYS TO MAINTAIN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.
Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, rather you coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “one,” you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, “to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness”.
2. See your partner for who he or she really is.
The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.
3. Be willing to learn from each other.
The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.
4. Get comfortable being alone.
In order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.
5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.
Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.
6. Own who you are.
We generally grasp aromantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn’t get what we were looking for.
True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.
7. Embrace ordinariness.
After the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.
8. Expand your heart.
One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.
It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.
9. Focus on giving love.
Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about us because other people love us; it’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.
10. Let go of expectations.
You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.
Draw upon your own inner resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like. These are only a few ways to explore real intimacy.
How do you create a loving connection in your relationship?
Much like a house plant, relationships need care. Some say that relationships are work, in that if we stop caring about the relationship, the relationship will slowly die. It’s not a task you have to face alone, you get to face it with the person you love, and the process is ultimately satisfying. “It’s about the journey, not the destination”. If you are struggling with connection in your relationships, it is best to talk with a professional to developed skills to learn healthy ways to communicate and have successful relationships. At CanAm Interventions we are available offering a wide range of support services.
For More Information:
E: patti.pike@canaminterventions.com W: www.canaminterventions.com
1-800-638-1812 Toll Free Internationally 415-827-3725 Cell /Text 415-578-2875 Office