Active addiction not only affects the person using drugs or alcohol, but it also affects their entire family. Individuals who abuse drugs and alcohol tend to be erratic and unpredictable, leaving their confused and frustrated family members to pick up the pieces. Addiction pushes family members to their breaking points and forces each person to conform in one way or another.
Can-Am would like to bring awareness to 6 dysfunctional family roles associated with addiction in the family:
The Addict
The addict is the individual who abuses substances and becomes the focal point of the family. Most of the family’s attention is directed toward the addict whether they realize it or not. The addict takes time, energy, and money from their families. Family members enable the addict’s behavior by covering up for mistakes or behaving a certain way to maintain the status quo.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat serves as the stand-in focal point of the family. As the addict causes much of the confusion in the family, the scapegoat acts out in defiance or hostility. They provoke negative attention which distracts from the addict’s unpredictable behavior. Their actions provide a false sense of control over the situation but divert attention from where it should be. The scapegoat steps up as a distraction for the family and keeps them from looking at and addressing the true source of the problem.
The Caretaker
The caretaker is one of the two family roles that most directly enable the addict. They are the person who covers for the addict and cleans up the messes they leave behind. The caretaker also tries to keep the rest of the family happy as they appease the addict. They often see themselves as martyrs. They spend all their time and energy trying to balance each member of the family. The caretaker keeps the chaotic, dysfunctional cycle going by neglecting to address the problem and shielding the addict from any consequences instead.
The Hero
The hero is the other family role that enables the addict most. They take the lead on making sure the family appears normal to anyone looking in from the outside. The hero spends all their time, energy, and attention on trying to maintain the status quo. They do their best to keep the dysfunction in the home to a minimum, but their actions only serve to place a band-aid over the real problem. Heroes are the over-responsible and self-sufficient family members, and they tend to be perfectionists. Their insistence on looking perfect from the outside not only enables the addict but it keeps the entire family sick.
The Mascot
The mascot acts as the comedian who aims to relieve stress and tension through humor. They ease their feelings of powerlessness and lack of control with silliness by finding the jokes in the situation. The mascot is usually an active busybody, staying in constant motion to keep from slowing down and considering the reality of the situation. Drawing attention away from the addict by keeping things light-hearted may seem like a way to help their family. In reality, it only enables the addict to continue with their destructive behavior.
The Lost Child
The lost child is the quiet one in the family who does what they can to keep the attention on everyone but themselves. They do their best to blend into the background and fly under the radar. The lost child stays out of the way as the other family members take turns at center stage. These individuals limit their time in the middle of the chaotic family dynamic and let others draw attention to themselves.
Stop Enabling Addicts with These Five Tips:
If you’re ready to learn how to stop enabling a drug addict, then try these five helpful methods. These simple actions can make a major difference and encourage your loved one to seek rehab.
1. Go to Family Meetings for 12-Step Programs
One helpful way to begin understanding enabling habits and address them is to go to a family meeting for a 12-step program. Being able to grasp what kinds of behaviors enable drug abuse is the first step to removing them from your lifestyle.
2. Participate in Family Therapy with the Addict
Family therapy can be a wonderful way to address the way substance abuse affects an entire family. It can address underlying issues in the family dynamic and help the addict discuss their feelings in a safe environment. It can also be a successful way to help them separate the disease and the actions it causes from their own personality and sense of self.
3. Stop Indulging the Addict’s Behaviors and Detrimental Behaviors
Sometimes, families do what they can to hide a loved one’s addiction. They might provide an alibi for why someone missed work or give money to the person who is using drugs to make sure they can afford rent or other necessities. Some families even go so far as to allow the drug dependency to dictate when they can or cannot do something. You must be firm with your loved one and refuse them the kinds of support that enable their drug use.
4. Start Encouraging Rehab Drug Treatment
Your family needs to address the importance of drug treatment. You may turn to a facility, like Peace Valley Recovery, to discuss an intervention or treatment program that could help your loved one. When the time is right, talking to your loved one about how their drug dependence has affected your lives will encourage them to take the right step toward rehab treatment.
5. Commit to Rehab
Rehab for drug abuse is a lifelong commitment for an addict and their family. Family members must be cautious not to trigger a relapse through their actions. To help, family members should commit to ongoing therapy sessions with the person in recovery and continue to learn positive ways to interact with one another.
Help?
Addiction and the relationships we have in our family tend to be very complicated matters. Having a support network is key. Obtaining an educated and experienced outside party with a neutral standing to guide and facilitate,not only the addict but also the family, is crucial for success and recovery. Can-Am Interventions primary purpose is to help and guide addicts to recovery as well to provide support for the family to learn healthy and lasting methods of coping with and supporting the addict in their family. We are here to answer questions and concerns you may have, as well to provide a treatment plan best suited for the success of the addict’s recovery. If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction, please reach out to us. We are here and ready to help.
E: patti.pike@canaminterventions.com W:www.canaminterventions.com
1-800-638-1812 Toll Free Internationally
415-827-3725 Cell /Text
415-578-2875 Office
