We all experience hard-ships and traumas in life from one degree to the other. Facing these obstacles can be very painful and frustrating to overcome. It is very normal to want to avoid these tough situations. Can-Am Interventions would like to bring awareness to this common issue that we all face, and to provide tips on how to manage these overwhelming feelings. Below are some methods that will help with letting go:
1. Create a powerful mantra to counter negative thoughts
How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. For example, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”
2. Create physical distance
It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset. Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much.
3. Do your own work
Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.
4. Practice mindfulness
The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, the less impact our past or future has on us. When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives.
5. Be gentle with yourself
If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. This looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others. Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes.
6. Allow the negative emotions to flow
If your fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry; you’re not alone. In fact, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. These negative emotions are like riptides, let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck.
7. Accept that the other person may not apologize
Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.
8. Engage in self-care
When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’t feel as overwhelming.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill you up
This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either. Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.
10. Give yourself permission to talk about it
When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it. Sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it. This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or [the person is] embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about it. But talking it out is important. It is recommended to find a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board.
11. Give yourself permission to forgive
Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.
12. Seek professional help
If you struggle to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.
Help?
The tips listed above are a good foundation to begin with. There are times that letting go will require additional help and support. Can-Am promotes healthy mental tools to allow us to be free of past traumas that interfere with our daily lives and looking forward to what is important to us. We are here to guide you on the path of recovery and to provide council to learn how to manage these situations mentally before they spiral out of control. The help you deserve is one phone call away.
E: patti.pike@canaminterventions.com
1-800-638-1812 Toll Free Internationally
415-827-3725 Cell /Text
415-578-2875 Office
